Everything is Backwards

Yeah, you read that title correctly.

Matt Taibbi of Rolling Stone magazine published an article called Jesus Made Me Puke where he goes undercover to a church retreat in Texas to get a look under the hood of evangelical Christianity.

Here’s the accompanying photo.

Of course, while we are told to respect all religions and are spoon fed this “all paths lead to God” nonsense, Christianity is routinely treated with ridicule and contempt.

Taibbi could have gone to a church with some intellectual credibility, but he rather chose to go to the Christian circus that epitomizes evangelical cheese just to watch the Charismatic chaos.

He wasn’t disappointed.

Stay with me, I’ll get to the puke part in a minute.

Here’s the drill: he pretends to be a seeker and attends Cornerstone Church’s Encounter Weekend. That’s John Hagee’s church, and he is a Christian Zionist who wants to fast-track Armageddon so we can usher in God’s kingdom.

Taibbi’s a cherry picker who went after an easy target. But if you’ve ever wondered what honest skeptics wonder about Christianity, look no further. He is blunt in his assessments:

When most Americans think of the Christian right, they think of scenes from television – great halls full of perfectly groomed people in pale suits and light-colored dresses, smiling and happy and full of the Holy Spirit, robotically singing hymns at the behest of some squeaky-clean pastor with a baritone voice and impossible hair.

We don’t get to see the utterly bats**t world they live in, when the cameras are turned off and their pastors are not afraid of saying the really dumb stuff, for fear of it turning up on CNN. In American evangelical Christianity, in other words, there’s a ready-for-prime-time stage act – toned down and lip-synced to match a set of PG lyrics that won’t scare the advertisers – and then there’s the real party backstage, where the spiritual hair really gets let down. I was about to go backstage, to personally take part in the indoctrination process for a major Southern evangelical church.

What he discovers “backstage” is a level of weirdness that would qualify for a witch trial in an earlier generation. The main speaker for the Encounter weekend, Phillip Fortenberry, is an ex-military macho man who continually tells the audience how many manly pieces of military equipment he can handle.

This macho image is important for Fortenberry, because Christian men are weak. Taibbi tries to dress the part:

My disguise was modeled on other men I’d seen in church — pane glasses and the very gayest blue-and-white-striped Gap polo shirt I’d been able to find that afternoon. Buried on a clearance rack next to the underwear section in a nearby mall, the Gap shirt was one of those irritating throwbacks to the Meatballs/Seventies-summer-camp-geek look, but stripped of its sartorial irony, it really just screamed Friendless Loser! — so I bought it without hesitation and tried to match it with that sheepish, ashamed-to-have-a-p***s look I had seen so many other young men wearing in church. With the glasses and a slouch I hoped I was at least in the ballpark of what I thought I needed to look like, which was a slow-moving hulk of confused, shipwrecked masculinity, flailing for an Answer.

Shipwrecked masculinity. That’s what outsiders think of Christian men.

The program revolved around a theory that Fortenberry quickly introduced us to called “the wound.” The wound theory was a piece of schlock biblical Freudianism in which everyone had one traumatic event from their childhood that had left a wound. The wound necessarily had been inflicted by another person, and bitterness toward that person had corrupted our spirits and alienated us from God. Here at the retreat we would identify this wound and learn to confront and forgive our transgressors, a process that would leave us cleansed of bitterness and hatred and free to receive the full benefits of Christ.

Unfortunately, Christ was not very well presented as the solution. Pop-psychology ruled the day:

But as far as I could see, in the early going, most of what we were doing was simple pop-psych self-examination using New Age-y diagnostic tools of the Deepak Chopra school: Identify your problems, face your oppressors, visualize your obstacles. Be your dream job. With a little rhetorical tweaking and much better food, this could easily have been Tony Robbins instructing a bunch of Upper East Side housewives to “find your wounds” (”My husband hid my Saks card!”) at a chic resort in Miami Beach or the Hamptons.

He explains that Christians are actually faking their way through religious exercises.

The more you shout out praising the Lord, singing along to those awful acoustic tunes, telling people how blessed you feel and so on, the more a sort of mechanical Christian skin starts to grow all over your real self. Even if you’re a degenerate Rolling Stone reporter inwardly chuckling and busting on the whole scene – even if you’re intellectually enraged by the ignorance and arrogant prejudice flowing from the mouth of a terminal-ambition case like Phil Fortenberry – outwardly you’re swaying to the gospel and singing and praising and acting the part, and those outward ministrations assume a kind of sincerity in themselves. And at the same time, that “inner you” begins to get tired of the whole spectacle and sometimes forgets to protest – in my case checking out into baseball reveries and other daydreams while the outer me did the “work” of singing and praising. At any given moment, which one is the real you?

I think Taibbi is on to something here. In a religious environment such as this, where external conformity is paramount, one could find themselves easily slipping into a routine of conditioned responses to certain spiritual stimuli. We should be on guard against this.

For a brief, fleeting moment I could see how under different circumstances it would be easy enough to bury your “sinful” self far under the skin of your outer Christian and to just travel through life this way. So long as you go through all the motions, no one will care who you really are underneath.

Ironically, Taibbi is somewhat prophetic here. He is complaining about people who are, in Jesus’ words, “whitewashed tombs,” who clean the outside of a cup while the inside is still dirty. I think Jesus would agree with that last quote.

Back to Fortenberry. After this intense and protracted weekend full of gut wrenching and emotion inducing meetings and group counseling sessions, they reach the final climactic “Deliverance” service where they can finally receive the healing they came for.

His description sounds more like Voodoo than any variety of genuine Christianity. This is the puke part, by the way.

What happens next is this: Fortenberry starts to call out “demons” from the stage and casting them out. Demons of pornography, drugs, addiction, gossip, and so on. This continues for a long time as his voice escalates and people start to get worked up. Fortenberry instructs people to open their mouths so the demon can come out of them. He tells them to not pray, because they need to have a clear path for the demon to travel as it is passing out of them.

Life coaches are literally given barf bags to take to people who vomit out their demons.

Within about a minute after that, the whole chapel erupted in pandemonium. About half the men and three-fourths of the women were writhing around and either play-puking or screaming. Not wanting to be a bad sport, I raised my hand for one of the life coaches to see.

It was obvious that virtually everyone in the crowd was playacting to some degree or another.

Taibbi left the Encounter weekend with his notebook full of juicy anecdotes to share to Rolling Stone readers who I’m sure were all too eager to pass judgment on all of evangelical Christianity based on the behavior of these folks.

I have two responses to this.

First, Taibbi was wrong to target a church that would provide such fodder simply for the purpose of making fun. You can’t judge all of Rock music based on the burnt couches and trashed hotel room antics of Guns-N-Roses, and you can’t judge the truth claims of Christianity based on excessive and superstitious people who are deluded and worked into an emotional frenzy by a psycho-spiritual manipulator.

I would love to see the article that would be written after spending a weekend at a retreat with John Piper’s church, or RC Sproul’s church. If its Charismatics he likes to target, then go to Mark Driscoll’s church or to CJ Mahaney’s church.

These men are some spiritual heavyweights who are more interested in exalting the sovereign Christ than toying with the emotions of people with real needs.

Secondly, although I’m embarrassed by the goings on at the Encounter Weekend of Cornerstone Church, these men and women are my brothers and sisters in Christ. These people who are rolling in the aisles and foaming at the mouth and puking into demon bags are my brothers and sisters in Christ and I will proudly claim all of them. I will not be ashamed of those for whom Christ died. Their behavior is unacceptable, but they are God’s children.

If Taibbi wanted a freak show, that’s what he got.

But I have been pointing out for a long time on this blog the very fact that Jesus values things that are backwards.

Taibbi looks at these people and sees losers, posers, freaks, and idiots.

Jesus looks at these people and says:

“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matthew 5:11-12)

Johnny Knoxville first splashed onto the scene in the MTV show Jackass. The title pretty much sums up the show.

This show is by dudes and for dudes. I can’t think of a single girl who likes it, so I’m making Johnny Knoxville my Real Man Candidate #3.

If you’ve witnessed the whole YouTube culture of guys almost getting killed because they were doing something stupid on videotape, this is where it all started.

For example, This guy broke his neck jumping off a roof onto a trampoline.

[Disclaimer: This video is painful just to watch. If you get queezy, just skip it. I'm not condoning this, but you just need to see the idiocy for yourself to appreciate it.]

The problem is misplaced courage. Courage is indeed masculine, but when teenage boys with too much time on their hands get their hands on a skateboard, camcorder, and a Jackass DVD, you’re guaranteed a trip to the emergency room.

Specimen: Johnny Knoxville

His case:

1. He videotaped himself doing insanely stupid and painful things to try to make money.

2. It worked.

3. MTV posted this disclaimer before every episode:

The following show features stunts performed either by professionals or under the supervision of professionals. According, MTV and the producers must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any stunt or activity performed on this show.

4. It didn’t work. Countless news reports shortly followed where teen morons imitated jackass stunts and added their names to the endless roster of Darwin Award recipients.

5. He always wears these.

Summary: In a country filled with boys who don’t know what real men look like, many find Knoxville strangely appealing. God created men to be courageous and confident. Fallen men can often distort biblical courage and confidence until it descends into sheer stupidity. Like this stupid motorcycle stunt.
Jackass is now past its prime and Ultimate Fighting has taken its place. For some reason, men enjoy watching other people suffer intensely. The same primal instinct that incited Romans to send slaves to the Coliseum lives on today in the spirit of Jackass.

Men, we can do better. I’m continuing to read the biography of Jim Elliot and I can’t help but contrast his courage with Knoxville’s. Elliot was somewhat reckless in his youth like Knoxville; but his recklessness was Christ centered.

Here’s another sample from Jim Elliot:

When are we going to rise like men and face the world squarely? This driveling nonsense which condones inactivity because of the apostasy of the day needs a little fire to show up the downright ungodliness it hides… It makes me boil when I think of the power we profess and the utter impotency of our action.

Barack Obama’s candidacy and his speech on race in America have brought America’s original sin and subsequent racial issues back to the front of our collective conscience.

This is good and healthy for America. Too many white Americans (myself included) have little idea of what is going on in the African American community, while assuming that since we in the Civil Rights Era there is no more work to do.

In the very near future, my family will be moving to Cincinnati to plant a new church. Our desire is to begin a church that will specifically embody the gospel in its racial makeup. Is this possible? “No, it isn’t,” I have been told recently, because I’m white. A white person told me this. I also spoke with an African American pastor in Cincinnati, who told me “Yes, it is possible.” His reasoning? Because I’m white.

How can my whiteness be a source of both credit and discredit to African Americans? This is just one example of the many inner struggles and complexities that the African American community faces. I cannot speak intelligently to these complexities because I’m just beginning to learn and listen. Any attempt to do so would further reveal my ignorance.

But I have provided a few highlights from Ta-Nehisi Coates’s recent article about Bill Cosby’s “black conservatism.” Coates clearly appreciates Cosby, but indicates that many African-Americans have mixed views about him. Some see him as a needed prophetic voice to blacks, others see him as a sell-out to whites. Cosby is popular with many whites because he is a black man criticizing the black community about things that whites are too afraid to say for fear of receiving the dreaded label, “racist.”

I have italicized key sections that I found interesting.

Cosby was an avowed race man, who, like much of his generation, had come to feel that black America had lost its way. The crisis of absentee fathers, the rise of black-on-black crime, and the spread of hip-hop all led Cosby to believe that, after the achievements of the 1960s, the black community was committing cultural suicide…

Black conservatives like Malcolm X and Louis Farrakhan, the leader of the Nation of Islam, have at times allied themselves with black liberals. But in general, they have upheld a core of beliefs laid out by Garvey almost a century ago: a skepticism of (white) government as a mediating force in the “Negro problem,” a strong belief in the singular will of black people, and a fixation on a supposedly glorious black past…

…[P]olitical strategists argue that the Republican Party is missing a huge chance to court the black community… He votes Democratic, not out of any love for abortion rights or progressive taxation, but because he feels—in fact, he knows—that the modern-day GOP draws on the support of people who hate him. This is the audience that flocks to Cosby: culturally conservative black Americans who are convinced that integration, and to some extent the entire liberal dream, robbed them of their natural defenses…

Cosby argues, disadvantaged blacks should start by purging their own culture of noxious elements like gangsta rap, a favorite target. “What do record producers think when they churn out that gangsta rap with antisocial, women-hating messages?,” Cosby and Poussaint ask in their book. “Do they think that black male youth won’t act out what they have repeated since they were old enough to listen?” Cosby’s rhetoric on culture echoes—and amplifies—a swelling strain of black opinion: last November’s Pew study reported that 71 percent of blacks feel that rap is a bad influence…

I wished, then, that my 7-year-old son could have seen Cosby there, to take in the same basic message that I endeavor to serve him every day—that manhood means more than virility and strut, that it calls for discipline and dutiful stewardship. That the ultimate fate of black people lies in their own hands, not in the hands of their antagonists. That as an African American, he has a duty to his family, his community, and his ancestors…

As to the notion that Cosby is a privileged elitist who condescends on fellow African-Americans, Coates offers this:

Cosby was born into a troubled home. He was raised by his mother because his father, who joined the Navy, abandoned the family when Cosby was a child. Speaking to me of his youth, Cosby said, “People told me I was bright, but nobody stayed on me. My mother was too busy trying to feed and clothe us.” He was smart enough to be admitted to Central High School, a magnet school in Philadelphia, but transferred and then dropped out in 10th grade and followed his father into the service.

Man Candidate #2: The Euro-man

Specimen: David Beckham

His case:

1. He’s British, so he’s got a cooler accent than you.

2. He can “bend it.”

3. He sports the combo blow-hawk (bleached faux hawk).

4. He’s richer than you.

5. He plays football (in the USA, we refer to this as “soccer”). Euro-men prefer sports of sophistication and dignity. In other words, if its European, its cool.

Summary: David Beckham is the quintessential Hollywood image of pure and undefiled masculinity. This brand of manhood exudes a powerful image: money, sex, athletic prowess, European sophistication, style, and trans-Atlantic condescension. He gets paid $250 million dollars to show America how Euro-men roll.

No one seems to really know what a real man is anymore.

How many times have you seen this template for a commercial:

1. Man is inept and goofy

2. Wife/girlfriend is intelligent and articulate.

3. Man does something childish and stupid, gets himself into trouble.

4. Woman calmly resolves the situation while rolling her eyes at her man.

Men of passion, conviction, and integrity still grip us. Some of the most successful films of the past decade have been tales of men displaying uncompromising heroism. Young men are especially hungry for role models because the genuine article is so rare.

So I’ve decided to spotlight some role models in the coming weeks, both good and bad.

First at the plate: Jim Elliot.

Jim Elliot wrote this in his personal journal on March 22, 1947:

“I lack the fervency, vitality, life in prayer which I long for. I know that many consider it fanaticism when they hear anything which does not conform to the conventional, sleep-inducing eulogies so often rising from Laodicean lips; but I know too that these same people can acquiescently tolerate sin in their lives and in the church without so much as tilting one hair of their eyebrows. Cold prayers, like cold suitors, are seldom effective in their aims.”

Jim Elliot was a real man: confident, courageous, somewhat reckless, totally devoted to God. There is nothing timid or passive about his faith. Real men know what they want to do, and dedicate themselves towards that goal.

Many counterfeits abound, from the Marlboro man, to the macho jock, to the redneck gamesman. Masculinity is not defined by hobbies but by responsibility and devotion.

There are many Christians who are interested in recovering biblical masculinity, but so often they are merely thrill seekers with a verse. Just because someone likes to climb rocks and shop at Bass Pro Shops doesn’t make them a man.

True masculinity is defined by love of God and responsible leadership in the home and church. True men don’t need to kill animals or grow a beard or throw a 95 MPH fastball.

Jim Elliot exercised to keep his body in prime condition for service on the mission field.

On November 25th, he wrote this:

“What I will be doing one year from today is a complete mystery. Perhaps a sick bed or a coffin – glory! Either of these would be fine, but the latter would be immortality, a swallowing up by Life. For this I am most anxious.”

He was murdered on the mission field seven years later.

Nancy Gibbs published this article in Time Magazine called “Affirmative Action for Boys.” She ackowledges the problems that college admissions departments face in trying to maintain a balanced boy/girl ratio in their freshmen classes. In an effort to achieve this, some “colleges are quietly stripping the pastels from brochures and launching Xbox tournaments to try to close the gap in the quality and quantity of boys applying.”

The unintended and unfortunate consequence of progress regarding women in society has led to men more and more finding themselves somewhat useless and unmotivated.