Tag Archive for 'Humor'

How to Turn Friends into Enemies

Here’s the way I go about making enemies:

1. Start a blog.

2. Ask a friend to host the blog on his web server (for free!).

3. Install a plug-in on the blog which…

4. Crashes your friends web server repeatedly for a couple of days, the same server that just happens to bring your friend a portion of his income.

5. Freak out, sweat, and try to get calm. Call your friend to tell him what happened.

6. Hope he doesn’t hate you now.

That’s exactly what happened to me the last couple of days. My friend is hosting this blog for me and I crashed his web server with this blog. At first, I thought someone got mad at me for the Planned Parenthood post and hacked into it. But we concluded that it was a plug-in.

Sorry, Josh! Don’t hate me…

3 Year Old Girl Rehashes Star Wars

I don’t know this kid, but I’ll adopt her.

Jesus Hates it When You Smoke

jesushatesitwhenyousmoke.jpgOne of my favorite motivational techniques: Guilt.

A Stronger Faith for only $19.95 (plus Shipping and Handling)

jesus1b.jpgHave you been having trouble walking with God lately? Well, have I got “good news” for you. You can have your very own personal Jesus doll to encourage and uplift you while you walk through the valley of the shadow of death. This Jesus has several important Bible verses memorized and will recite them for you whenever you need a pick-me-up. Never mind that pesky old Second Commandment, your family will enjoy hours of entertainment and spiritual enjoyment from this cute little toy. Lost sheep sold separately.


I Got My Dog! (out of a 30 foot hole in the ground, that is)

Get this. My aunt and uncle in a Huntington, WV, “suburb,” have been featured all over the national news scene for digging their dog out of a drain pipe. My uncle’s dog, whom he’s had for 14 years, got caught in a drain pipe presumably to escape the heat, and was pretty much buried alive for four days.

I Got my Dog!

My uncle dug a 30′ hole in his front yard to access the drain pipe. He cut the pipe open and pulled the dog through. At first, it was a local news sensation, as these things tend to be. But within a day’s time, they have been featured on CNN (video)and MSNBC. Tomorrow morning (8/22), Good Morning America will do a live feature from their own dug up front yard. The day after that, they and their dog will be off to NYC (New York City!!) to be on the today show.

Interesting: in the video footage, which has now been viewed all around the world, my uncle is wearing a t-shirt with his own carpet business on it and the phone number. Imagine having your own phone number published to the entire world. They have since received calls from the UK and Australia.

Oh yeah, and I used to work for them — by managing their carpet business. I would have killed for this exposure!